Cake Manifesto

A spectre is haunting Europeans in Canada - the spectre of 'cake.' All the powers of old Europe, or those at least currently re-settled in Canada, have entered into an unholy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Pope and Russian president (no Tsar anymore), Metternich and Guizot (WTF is a Guizot?), French radicals (other than those in Quebec) and German police-spies (not sure about the police-spies, but Germans for sure).

Where is the hero in opposition that has not been decried as 'cake' by his opponents from Euroland? Where is the opposition that has not hurled back the branding reproach of 'cake,' against the more culturally refined European arrivals as well as their other worldly, cultured immigrant friends?

Two things result from this fact:
1. 'Cake' is already acknowledged by all Europeans residing in Canada to be itself a power.
2. It is high time that 'Cake' should openly, in the face of all their newly arrived friends, publish their views, their delicacies, their tendencies and meet this nursery tale of 'cake' with a manifesto of the lifestyle itself.

To this end, 'cakers' of various provincial ties (with the possible exceptions of Quebec and Nunavut who are pretty resistant to cake culture) have assembled on the internet and sketched the following blog, to be published in English … and nothing else on account of the writer being unilingual and only able communicate in the English language - the official language of cake.

My name is Coco and I'm bringing 'cake' to the masses!