Fact vs. Fiction - A Pig! A Pig! Everywhere a Pig!

This is not an apology in the common, everyday sense to express regret or remorse. No, this is a scholar's apology, the type that explains the reason or reasons behind a particular argument. This statement is that the European brain is hard-wired for pork. When a scholar's teachings are ever called into question, it is the responsibility of that educator to prove to his or her disciples that he or she is, in fact, an expert in his or her respective field, which in my case is 'Cake' and 'Euro-Cake' relations. In order to preserve the integrity of the lessons, past and present, herein, I am obligated to demonstrate to all students that my knowledge base is absolute. Though I have never been called to task for my statement that those of European descent are inexplicably obsessed with the swine, this entry is a pre-emptive strike at anyone thinking of questioning the lessons given on this blog.
My Euro friends' parents have interesting and creative ways in which to serve pig: schnitzel, sausage and straight up tender loins. I can't call that an obsession, rather that's just deliciousness. My concern is for the youngest of generations of Euro children here in the land of 'cake.' Diabolically, parents have past on an obsession from the old country and engrained it in their children's psyche that pig is not just a meal but also a treat - serving some form of it for more than just breakfast, lunch and dinner. There is no problem with bacon for breakfast, ham sandwiches for lunch and schnitzel for dinner aside from the obvious internal side-effects. No, the problem lies when a child is done with his or her ham sandwich and rummages through their lunch bag yearning for dessert only to be staring yet another pig in the face. Enter "Fred Ferkle!"

Even Euro candy is shaped like our barnyard friend, the pig. What hope do the spawn of newly arrived European parents have of integrating with their 'cake' hosts when they are fed pork and pseudo-pork 24/7? 'Cake,' with their infinite politeness and inclusive intentions, are thrown back as yet another serving of pig is pulled from Euro Junior's lunch satchel. Looking to help their foreign classmate out, little 'cake' is quick to offer something more appropriate such as a marshmallow candy cigarette or gum made to appear as chewing tobacco. It's no use though. The child from across the pond is already accustomed to swine and his parents' pseudo-swine treats.

Who knows? Maybe Fred Ferkel does have some form of pig in him.

My name is Coco and in moderation, I too, dig the pig!